Fighting for Peace
Park School And The Cage: Child Sexual Abuse The lyrics of of Sia’s Elastic Heart are compelling, but the video could tell a whole story without sound. Dancer Maddie Ziegler was around 12 in this amazing performance. She possesses an ageless girl-strength, even though she is in a cage that makes up her whole world,…
The Fallacy of “Targeted” Killings
Declaring that a violent act was “targeted” has become the favorite short-hand reassurance by all sorts of officials and law enforcement that “this was a private matter and the killer wasn’t after you, so don’t worry about it, you have no reason for concern.”
The Fall
“What the traumatized person seeks, on one level, is an answer to the riddle of evil” Immediately after after my husband’s first serious assault on me, I was on my hands and knees trying to get up in front of him and saw blood on the floor. In a generally confused state after having been…
Taking Back Activities After DV
It’s very clearly stated that avoidance of places, activities and anything else that recalls the trauma is a common part of PTSD. Before my abusive marriage and throughout much of it I was very physically active and loved to jog, bike, hike, camp. He took control over all of that, and filled so many activities…
What Can I Get You?
Not all that harms women is like Andrew Tate She’s trying to get him what he wants, in the exact way he wants it, and she is being polite. But in the next minute and fifteen seconds he manages to mock, mimic and publicly belittle her, comment on her age and economic status, curse at…
The Deceptive DV “Advocacy” of Prof. Leigh Goodmark
Survivors have been sidelined from the discussion about our own lives for far too long. We can insist that the safety of victims and children be paramount, and that each survivor’s definition of safety and justice should be heavily considered in the handling of every case (not just the opinions of law enforcement, or academics,…
Where Does the Harm Go?
There is a very straightforward answer to this question: In the case of harm that is serious and trauma-related, it goes right into your nervous system. Religion and new age ideology want to pretend that it is erased with forgiveness, absolution or the victim “letting it go”/coming to some kind of “acceptance.” But brain science…
Anatomy of a Triggering
I got “triggered” recently, not in the bastardized meaning of the word which has just come to mean “bothered,” but in a way that altered almost a week of my life. Real triggering happens when people with PTSD are brought back into a moment or an experience of deep horror or fear, and re-live it…
Trauma Bonding
Trauma bonding happens when an abuser uses the intimacy of the emotional bond they have cultivated with someone over time, to slowly and increasingly devalue them, until they lose their sense of themselves, and feel dependent on the abuser. They lose access to most of who they were and what kept them going before the…
Don’t Bleed!
This is it. This is the most soul-destroying, psychologically annihilating part that I can’t seem to get over. Why was it so permanently damaging? NOT worse than the physical, but so deeply and subtly evil. I’m amazed by this video because I actually used to say to my husband, repeatedly, “you shoot me (figuratively) and…
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Child sexual abuse and domestic abuse, daily life with PTSD. Surviving through truth.
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Facing Down the Dementor 